I am using this posting to follow Eliott's quirky statements. I will continue to post to this spot whenever he says something to crack us up. (which is so very often!)
Fall 2009 Quotes
"Shia, I told you I am a trained professional"
Eliott: "Mom, I need you to tell me who to marry" Jaime: "Eliott, you should decide that on your own, when you are older".
Eliott: 'but mom, there are so many girls to choose from, I don't know who to pick. and they all keep asking me and i don't know what to say"
"Mom, I love you...can I have a banana?"
"Mom, that Shia, he sure cracks me up."
"Mom, here's a hamburger, I promise it is Kosher. Everything in my restaurant is Kosher."
Eliott: "Mom, stop looking at me"
Jaime: "Why? Because you are picking your nose?" Eliott: "No Mom, because you need to watch the road when you are driving so you don't get us in an accident!",
Jaime: "Stop picking your nose"
Eliott: "Mom just stop looking at me!"
Jaime: "There will be no Superhero show until the room is clean, boys."
Eliott: "Mom has a point, Shia, let's clean up".
Winter 2009/2010 Quotes
Eliott: "Mom, I finished my snack, I would like some Goldfish"
Jaime: "It will be a minute"
Eliott: "Why Mom?"
Jaime: "Because I have garlicky hands"
Eliott: "Mom, just wash them off first and then you can bring me some Goldfish"
Eliott's ultimate quote of Disney vacation
Nammie (my mom): "Eliott, you are very smart"
Eliott: "Nammie, I get that alot"
Eliott's response to thunder mountain railroad: 'now that's what I'm talking about!'
Eliott: "It's bad that Mr. Jeremy shaved off his beard. I liked it."
Alan: "Did you like it when I had a beard"
Eliott: "No Daddy, just Mr. Jeremy. I don't like it on you....but I still love you though"
currently, Yo Gabba Gabba characters are singing a song called "Be nice to everyone"...
Eliott - "Shia, do you hear that song"
Shia - blank stare
Eliott - "Shia, you need to be nice to me"
Eliott -"Mom, when I am a parent, I won't live with you anymore. But I will come over sometimes with my kids so you can play with them"
Eliott - "Mom, when I grow up, I want to be an airplane pilot. But I won't work every day, because I will want to spend time with my family"
Random Waitress @ Ruby Tuesday - "Is Santa Clause coming to your house this week?"
Eliott - "No"
Random Waitress @ Ruby Tuesday - Blank Stare
Eliott - "I celebrate Chanukah"
Random Waitress @ Ruby Tuesday - "Well that's cool because we get one day of presents and you get seven"
Eliott - "Actually, there are 8 days of chanukah"
Jaime: "You're right Eliott, you stumped me"
Eliott: "Mom it wasn't me, it was my brain."
Eliott: "Mom, what does spoil your lunch mean?"
Jaime: "It means you are eating too many goldfish and so you won't eat your sandwich and won't be hungry when we get home"
Eliott: "But mom that's not true, I'm always hungry"
Eliott: " dad, I think hulk is made of gas and spinach"
Eliott: "Mom, why do you keep reminding me of the same thing over & over"
Jaime: "Moms just do that some time"
Eliott: "Well Mom, I remember so please just only tell me once"
Eliott: "Do cows make chocolate milk?"
Jaime: "No, they add the chocolate later"
Eliott: "What, doesn't it come out of their butt?"
Eliott: "Mom, when I finish college I will get married. Then I will be a dad. I think I will be 26, is that ok? I know you were 24. How old was Daddy?"
Jaime: "You get to decide who you will marry and when...after college. Daddy was 22."
Eliott: "Well...maybe I will be 24 then, but definitely ... not 22"
Eliott: "Will we see the ballerinas today"
Eliott: "I don't want to see them"
Eliott: "Because they were staring at me"
Jaime: "Maybe they thought you were cute"
Eliott: "I don't want them to think I'm cute"
Eliott: "Because I don't want to marry any of them"
Spring/Summer 2010 Quotes
Eliott: "pizza hut makes the best pizza; I heard about it on television"
Eliott: " Shia, Dov & I are all going to the same college" Jaime: "that's nice Elie but you don't have to" Eliott: "yes we do because we all need to stay close together"
Thank you Oprah Winfrey's Nature special LIFE for comparing that bullfrog to a dead-beat-dad. You prompted Eliott to turn to me and say "Mommy, is daddy a dead beat dad?"
Eliott: "Shia Phinn Stickler don't do that", Shia: "I'm not a Phinn Stickler"
Eliott: "Mom, I am glad we are back in Texas because Texas has Sonic. It was not as cool to have to go to Dunkin Donuts everyday. It's just not the same"
Eliott: mom, Shia said gaga poops.
Jaime: eliott, who do you think he learned that from?
Eliott: from like a bad guy or something ... I haven't said that in like 7 weeks.
Shia: "my dog Kirby-boo is wittle"
Eliott: "it's not about size Shia, it's about how they learn"
Eliott: "mom, why are there worms in my drink?"
Eliott: "you know, those little white things floating on the top"
Jaime: "those aren't worms, those are pieces of lemon that make your lemonade fresh (pulp)"
Jaime: " eliott, after Phineas and Ferb come upstairs and play toys"
Eliott: "mom, lame-o"
Eliott: "When I have kids, I will come visit you every Monday, but you have to get up early, is that ok?"
Eliott: "ha, ha Shia, Dovie just took you down"
Eliott: "it's summer, it's not supposed to rain in the summer"
Jaime: "it does in Houston"
Eliott: "rain sucks"
Eliott: "mom, you can't control what you create"
Shia: "my chicken nugget looks like a seahorse...mommy I just bit it's nose off"
Shia: "mommy the sun pooped on my carseat"
Eliott: "I am putting deoderent on before Bella and Julia get here so I smell boyish"
Eliott: "I don't like girls anymore"
Jaime: "Really, Elie, what about Bella & Julia or Maddie & Lizzie"
Eliott: "well I like them, I just don't like new girls"
Eliott: "mom, can I have a banana?"
Jaime: "no the bananas are still green"
Eliott: "oh great, rules again. mom you always make the rules. when can I make some?"
Eliott: "mom, did you know Burger King has Twilight toys? You need to go there and get one for yourself"
Eliott: "my bicycle is a girl and I named her girl. Now when I go fast and need to slow down I say easy girl"
Eliott: "mom, don't worry, I'm just being old fashioned"
Eliott: "mom, Shia has poop"
Jaime: "no, he doesn't, I just changed him"
Eliott: "you're kidding momma"
Jaime: "no, I'm not"
Shia: "momma you're kidding, you're kidding momma"
fall 2010 quotes... Eliott turns 5
Eliott: "it's nice to see our old friend Chilis (the restaurant), isn't it Shia?"
Eliott:"mom when you see a wombat, don't stay wombat stew. He'll turn into wombat stew" Jaime:"I'm not likely to see a wombat" Eliott:"well when you go to africa and
you see one remember what word you're not supposed to say"
Shia:"mom can we go to the robeo (rodeo) and look for a yellow cowboy hat?" Me:"sure, on Sunday" Shia:"but mom, make sure it's not a yellow cowgirl hat cause I'm a boy"
Eliott: "Shia do you want to go to outerspace when you grow up?"
Eliott: "well be careful cause you may get sucked into a black hole"
Jaime: "Elie, don't tell him that"
Eliott: "but mom, he may well get sucked into one"
Eliott: "I just want to make the world happy"
Dov: "me too mom"
Shia: "I just want to make the god happy"
Eliott: "I know what to do to make the world happy"
Jaime: "what Eliott?"
Eliott: "you'll see when I do it"
Shia: "daddy, mommy is the one that makes the rules"
Song on the radio: "I like dirt and it likes me"
Eliott: "mom, that song is about Shia because Shia likes dirt and dirt likes Shia"
Alan: "Can I go camping with you this weekend?"
Shia: "No, we don't need you. Mr. Jeremy will be there"
Eliott: "I don't know what to pick for dinner" Shia: "Eliott say Freebirds"
Today at school Eliott wrote me a story: "I love mom. Yes I do. Mom is cool. Mom loves trapezoids (spelled correctly) and me."
Eliott: "my legs hurt when I bend them" Me: "maybe you're growing" Eliott: "I don't want to grow" Me: "you new to grow. The taller you get the more rides you can ride at Disney world"
Eliott: "Mom, I think I look perkier than I did earlier"
Eliott: "mom maybe when I get my Harry Potter wand it will really work. I think I belong in the magical world"
Dov (while pretending to be Captain America and watching the Avengers): "Dad, who keeps hitting me on the tv?"
Small-Budget Crushes 11.14.17
1 week ago