"I'm off on a rocketship prepared for something new, I'm off on a rocketship ecstatic with the view, I am scared of the things that are coming and I want for the things I don't have, cannot stand to be one of many, I'm not what they are." ~ GUSTER
I often say that I can come up with a Guster quote for any time, place, mood of my life. Today is another one of those days. Today, I sent Eliott (age 6) to first grade, Shia (age 4.5) to Pre-K and Dov (age 3.5) to school. Today was Dov's first day ever.
What does this really mean? Well, I can use the quote above to break it down:
"I'm off on a rocketship prepared for something new" - I'm isolated today. I'm a stay at home mom, with no one to mom. Granted, it's only MWF from 8-3, but let's face it. For at least 4.5 years I have had at least one kid with me at home every day. I can't remember the last time I sat in this house alone. But, on a positive note, I am / was prepared for this and I am working hard to fill up my time.
"I'm off on a rocketship ecstatic with the view" - I'm so happy for my children. Eliott rode his bike 1.33 miles this morning (the first time ever) and hugged me goodbye with a big smile on his face. Shia went to class for the first time in months without needing that extra push and Dov just said see ya later Dad. I wouldn't have it any other way.
"I am scared of the things that are coming" - I'll admit, I'm nervous. I'm afraid I'll be bored. Alan's afraid I will be bored. BUT, I will also admit that I'm afraid I won't be bored. Weird, I know.
"and I want for the things I don't have" - I want to have a clue which direction to go with my life. I don't have one.
"cannot stand to be one of many, I'm not what they are" - I like to think that what makes me "likeable" is that I'm different. I have opinions, I go against the grain, I play video games and like super heroes. I'm genuine, but realistic. I don't need you to like me, but I'm glad that you do. If I stay a traditional stay at home mom in 2012, does that make me one of many or one of few? If I choose a career, does that make me one of many or one of few?
I guess time can only tell. Looking forward to 3pm when I become Jaimes and the giants again.
Happy first day of school Houston area.
Amy’s Notebook 10.18.19
3 hours ago